When I began to study for the Medical College Admissions Test earlier this month, I was shocked and saddened to find a lack--shall we say a complete dearth--of blogs on the MCAT that were not (circle one of the following):

I. Hysterical

II. Cut-and-dry

III. Defunct

IV. Fabulous

A. I

B. IV

C. II and IV only

D. I, II, and III

Explanation:

D. I, II, and III

I. Hysterical. And not in the comedic way, but in the unmanageable emotional excess, paging-Dr.-Freud (who, by the way, never took the MCAT. what a FRAUD) sort of way. All this tabulation and comparison and listing of acronyms and fretting about bell curves and begging for some answers please please please will I get into medical school with a 3.5 GPA from Carnegie Mellon with the following extracurriculars: ultimate frisbee, laboratory work with schizophrenic mice models, and jazz band. No. This is not that type of blog.

II. Cut-and-dry. Here are the number of MCAT sections. Here is the amount of time for each section. Here is how I studied. Here is my score. These boring blogs almost make you yearn for the pre-med forums, where students wonder if tattooing facts onto their inner thighs will result in osmosis of knowledge. No. This is not that type of blog.

III. Defunct. Your last post was in 1995? Did they even know what a neuron was back then? Did they even have blogs? While I only plan to take the MCAT once and to therefore only have this blog for a very finite amount of time (less than two months, to be precise), I hope that my experience will not be immediately irrelevant. No, friends. This is not that type of blog.

What sort of blog, then, will this be?

IV. Fabulous. The sort of blog that knows that the best defense is a sense of humor, particularly when one is asked to take a test on material that can best be described as I Used To Know This, Once. The sort of blog that wishes there were more MCAT memes (I mean seriously. MCAT: Know All The Things, for starters.). The sort of blog that tries, like poetry, to make the unbearable bearable. But with more fart jokes. And science. Lots of science.