First: apologies for the blogging reprieve! I have, I am horrified to tell you, been too busy studying to make fun of how much I've been studying. But now I know how epoxides behave in acidic and basic media! And how to brominate a double bond in an anti-Markovnikov fashion! Facts sure to get me all the boys at next weekend's rager party.
especially this one
Just for shits and giggles, I brought along the Kaplan MCAT Verbal Review book to the library this afternoon for a little light reading in between pounding organic chemistry (motto: "Carbon Is A Whore") into my skull. And there, in the first section, was this sentence:
The MCAT Verbal section tends to be the scariest for students. . .but remember that Verbal is the section that is probably the most responsive to strategy.
First of all:
I do not read books, Sam I Am/I do not read or give a damn/
except if it's on the Medical College Admission Exam
Second of all: "Most responsive to strategy?" What is the Verbal section--a drunk sorority girl? No. Let me tell you something top-ish secret-ish. Here is my no-fail strategy for doing well on the MCAT Verbal section: read the passage before you answer the questions.
go ahead and send me one. you know where I live
But seriously, as all of you know from reading this blog, I have a way with words. No strategy necessary--they just flop into my arms and I have my way with them. And if you're not convinced, let me tell you a fun fact: I majored in Writing in undergrad and am currently getting an MFA in poetry, so at least two large American Universities have declared officially that I do not suck at This Whole Literature Thing. So admittedly maybe it's a little biased of me to make fun of pre-meds who struggle with the verbal reasoning section. (But seriously: go become podiatrists already.) For realsies, though, you can't tell me that the verbal section is hard when everything you need is right in front of you (it's just like Dorothy said after waking from a coma). Looking at the passage is like looking at a treasure map with an X the size of your face. Truly.
For being so gifted in the ahhhhrts, however, I don't have that 14 in the bag. Here's another secret: while I don't always do as well as I could on the MCAT Verbal for the simple reason that the passages are deeply uninteresting, when I do do as well as I could on the MCAT Verbal, I always reference this meme in a clunky and incoherent manner.
blame it on the aaa aaa alcohol
And by "the passages are deeply uninteresting" I mean real deep, like wow look at all these fish with blinking body parts kind of deep. Here are some of those deep deep deep things you are likely to read about on an MCAT Verbal section:
1. A stance on a "controversial" political issue that is neither controversial nor interesting. Example: drug legalization. I mean, really. No one cares. Not even my highly politically-informed cat, Mittens Romney.
just when you thought only canines were against you
2. An overly complicated explanation of a branch of philosophy, most likely dealing with aesthetics or the sublime. I mean, really. Don't think you can throw me off my game by quoting Kant. Change that Kant to a Kan, my friends. Philosophers are just men who spend too much time thinking and not enough time attending to their facial hair.
3. An exploration of Native American myths. I mean, really. I didn't think I signed up for the MMCAT (Medicine Man College Assessment Test).
4. A scientific article on geological formations and/or astronomy. I mean, really. There's a reason I'm becoming an expert on people and not an expert on rocks. (Though I know some days you may feel as if the "people" vs "rocks" venn diagram is actually a perfect circle.)
Now that you know what to expect for the passages, here are the top three questions you will likely encounter:
1. The author of this passage would most likely agree with which of the following statements. This is when I use my lifeline number 3 to call up and ask the author myself. "Do you agree that Celtic folktales play an important role in the ethical development of our culture?" I ask. "Who the hell is this?" the author says.
2. In the context of this passage, the word supercalifragilisticexpialidocious means. . .
you can do it, doc!
3. All of the following would weaken the author's argument EXCEPT. One thing I resent about these questions is how the EXCEPT is in all caps. It's like yes, I see what you did there, negating all the things. No need to be so showy about it.
And so it goes. My point is, it's okay if you find the MCAT Verbal section more challenging than predicting the product of a reaction the length of your arm--we just can't be friends. Ever. No ifs ands or EXCEPTs.
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